Cold Play--Fix You

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide your home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream, down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I..

Tears stream, down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I..

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.

Saturday

I'm exploding inside. I'm exploding outside. It's over. I wished it was over. Why can't the end be here.

TGIF!

EVEN GEORGE THINKS SO!

TODAY, I AM 14 YEARS CLEAN AND SOBER!!

2287 US FATALITIES IN IRAQ!

Isn't She Lovely?

Teyla was baptized and her father sent a darling picture of her.....She smiles, now!

Maybe I'm over the edge today,

but i have managed to get into an argument with almost every person I have had a serious talk with. Maybe it's just about damn time that I truly say what is on my mind. If that is the case, it's not over yet.

2276 US FATALITIES IN IRAQ!

Thank you, Presidents!

We have an extra day off of school and I am sooooo glad. It was 3 years ago, on George Washington's birthday, that we found a starving little kitten under the car. I've spoken of him before. We named him George. Now it is George Dog because he has all the fine characteristics of a dog such as fetching, begging at the table, greets you at the door when you come home, likes to like you (i know, ewww) and does tricks. Actually, I think George will be my husbands life savior. Scott's old dog is now 16. Hayduke is his name. Scott never had any kids of his own, but Hayduke is for him. He still goes to work with him every day. H. has some coughing issues, he sheds profusely and whines a lot. He has the most absolute bad breath in the whole wide world. But man o' man, he has the best ears! Well, best as in cute, he is completely deaf but follows hand signs quite well!



I love Hayduke very much. Anyone who knows him loves him. He is a sweet, tender ol' dog. You'd think he would be all crippled up or something right now, but he isn't. Yesterday, we walked along the river (4 mile trek) and Hayduke was just as happy as he could be. (you can read about his walk at http://www.radioparadise.com/content.php?name=Journal&file=show_entry&jid=4245) He trotted around, smelling everything, checking his pee-mail. Stayed ahead of us, came back to check if we weren't in close proximity. One of the best things about this dog is that he always does his job. What is his job? Well, taking care of the best sheep, of course. Ever since Scott and I have been together, Hayduke has always been right by my side. It doesn't matter where I'm at, he's there. Each evening, I have to wake him up at night to let him know I am going to bed. He sleeps right by my side. I think I'll miss him too. But for now, we will love him dearly. He is the last surviving member of the Old Man Dog Club.

After three days

of traveling in sub-zero weather to play pep band and not getting home before midnight each night, I just want to be home alone today. I just want to cook, read, relax...


and.......just because i write about my feelings and emotions in my blog, doesn't mean i feel the need, desire or have any ambition to discuss it personally with anyone, i put it on here because i want to. i am NOT asking for advise, god knows especially from YOU and YOU KNOW who you are. if i ask you to read my blog, it is just for that, not because i want to be drilled on it or want to even discuss it with YOU so be gone!

The weather warmed up to -6F, today!

It is -16 F right now, was -26F when we went to school this morning. When the wind blows, it makes the air soooo much colder to the human skin. Have you ever experienced such cold? By the time you get into the school from your car, any exposed skin becomes bright red and just stings and burns. It hurts to inhale. The snow becomes very crunchy.

i broke down again

at the game. i hate uncontrolled tears.

YOWZA

Pep band travels to tournaments tomorrow, thursday, friday, possibly saturday. thank god we have monday off. i want to go see my mom.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY, EVERYONE!

We've Only Just Begun

Recently, I've experienced some major issues in my life. I haven't written anything on my blog except the # of US fatalities. When I first got the widget, it was showing an average of 3 deaths per day, but no reporting of it on the news. It still astonishes me that the names and faces aren't told. Anyway, for the 2nd day in a row, the number has not changed. So, today I decided to write about something different. Have you ever seen a log jam? It is place on the river where the cut trees have all jammed up and they are stuck solid. This comes from a bend in the river or perhaps the water was too shallow. The logs are unable to pass through. Well, I've been told my emotions have been as such from when I was a very little girl---abuses of several kinds. Through a long bout of intensive counseling, the logjam started to move this week. I've been home crying the entire time...starting to become healthy. It's a start. It's a great start.

Today, we will be packing a picnic in our backpacks and head up the Madison River for a hike. It's only 9 degrees right now, so we're waiting for it to warm up a tad, but at least the sun is shining and the wind isn't blowing!


My sister Jolene, who lost her husband to suicide last October, is doing very well considering what she has had to accomplish on her own. She got a new job and moved to the other part of the state to be near her daughter and granddaughters. Her job is going well, she is in a great place with an option to buy, she's getting out. I'm proud of her. This is not the life she thought she was going to have, but she is making the absolute best of it.

I spoke to a dear friend of mine yesterday. We haven't talked for quite a while. It was so good to hear her voice, I miss and love her so much. I haven't met a friend like her since I moved from there in 2001. We are planning a women's get-together or flying to some place exotic together. Have any interesting ideas? Wanna meet us there?hee hee

Have a great week, including Valentines Day. I have pep band at the basketball tourneys, so I'll be traveling the latter half of the week. tah tah for now!

Today is the first

day in a week that when I got up the next morning, and the number of US fatalities remained the same. How much have you heard about it? Have you learned their names? Seen their faces? We need to do something about this. EVERY SINGLE PERSON matters.

2267 US FATALITIES IN IRAQ!

2264 US FATALITIES IN IRAQ!

2261 US FATALITIES IN IRAQ!

2257 US FATALITIES IN IRAQ!

2254 US FATALITIES IN IRAQ!

2252 US FATALITIES IN IRAQ!

2250 US FATALITIES IN IRAQ

In the news.....

This year, both Groundhog Day and the State of the Union Address fall within the same week.

As Air America Radio pointed out today, "It is an ironic juxtaposition: one involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a creature of little intelligence for prognostication, and the other involves a groundhog."


heeheehee

Ever heard of a "widget"?

My OS offers little options to have at the click of the mouse. So, at my disposal, I can see the weather, time of sunrise/sunset, date/time etc. There are several options. In the category of "stat meters" I chose the number of US fatalities in Iraq. In the past three days, that number has gone up by 6, yet there has been no mention of such in the paper.......are we becoming numb towards the loss? Support our troops.......BRING THEM HOME!


2248 killed. (and we cannot forget the innocent civilians)

This morning,

my shower was incredibly delicious. I'm not sure why! There wasn't anything new or different, it just felt really good. Let's all have a good day, folks!