For those of you that smoke,

you need to sit right next to mom. You need to try and help her to the RR, taking 20 minutes as she can't remember from one movement of the walker to the next what she is doing and how to do it...the side effect of her memory loss due to her little smoking induced strokes. Smoking didn't make the discs in her back compress and break, but it is the cause of her memory loss, her poor circulation, her agonies. It's the reason why her oxygen intake is so low and she has to have it 24/7, even tho it makes her usage of the walker far more complicated. it's why she has no concept of what day/time it is, why she hurts and why she is dying. For those of you that smoke, you should be changing her jammies because she doesn't make the bathroom in time because she doesn't remember to go there, sit and watch your be antzy and fuss because she can't remember what the hell she is doing. is it really worth it? smoking pisses me off so bad...watch your mother's fingertips stay blue because of the blood constriction, watch her feet swell, watch her struggle to raise her legs up on the bed. it's all from f****** cigarettes. i hope your daughters and daughters' daughters are willing to care take you as mom has to be because of smoking. it's not just her back that has her in hospice care...

Guess who I get to see in concert on Sunday?

I love this man's music. His guitar music wraps around his thought-provoking words like a mother holding a newborn. I wished I could find a link to some of his recordings, you'd understand why I am ELATED about seeing him live in concert!

Bruce Cockburn (phonetically "co-burn") From Wikipedia, Bruce Douglas Cockburn, (born May 27, 1945) is a Canadian folk/rock guitarist and singer/songwriter. He has recorded an immense volume of work, his 29th album being released in summer 2006, and has written songs in styles ranging from folk to jazz-influenced rock to rock and roll. Biography (lolly, this might be boring for you, feel free to skip but no comments! lol) Cockburn was born in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada and spent some of his early years on a farm outside Pembroke, Ontario. He has stated in interviews that his first guitar was one he located in his grandmother's attic, which he then adorned with golden stars and used to play along to radio hits; another source places this momentous event as happening in 1959. Cockburn was a student at Nepean High School, where his 1964 yearbook photo states his desire simply: "hopes to become a musician." He then attended Berklee College of Music in Boston for three semesters in the mid-1960s: "I got a lot out of it, but it didn't feel right to continue there." In 1966 he was asked to join an Ottawa band called The Children, which lasted for about a year. In the spring of 1967, he joined the final lineup of the Esquires before moving to Toronto in the summer to form The Flying Circus . Cockburn left this band in the spring of 1969 to pursue a solo career. He had made his first solo appearance at the Mariposa Folk Festival in 1967, and was the headliner when Neil Young cancelled in order to appear at Woodstock. In 1970 he released his first, self-titled, solo album. Cockburn's phenomenal guitar work and songwriting skills won him an enthusiastic following. His early work sparkles with rural and nautical imagery, biblical metaphors, and a sense of delight in the belief that whatever happens here on earth, heaven isn't far away. While Cockburn had been popular in Canada for years, he didn't make a splash in the United States until 1979, with the release of the album Dancing in the Dragon's Jaws, still a landmark of acoustic-based pop featuring intricate lyrics, great sonics, and startling guitar work. Wondering Where the Lions Are, the first single from that album, reached #21 on the Billboard Hot 100 in the US in June 1980, and earned Cockburn an appearance on NBC's hit TV show Saturday Night Live. Through the 1980s Cockburn's songwriting became first more urban, later more global, and then, ultimately and most famously, more politicized: he became heavily involved with progressive causes. His growing political concerns were first hinted at in two astonishing but little-known discs, Humans and The Trouble with Normal. As far as casual radio listeners were concerned, however, these concerns only became evident in 1984, with Cockburn's second radio hit, "If I Had a Rocket Launcher" (#88 US) from the Stealing Fire album. He had written the song a year earlier, after visiting Guatemalan refugee camps in Mexico that were attacked before and after his visit by Guatemalan military helicopters. His political activism continues to the present. Cockburn has traveled to many countries (such as Mozambique and Iraq), played countless benefits, and written many songs on a variety of political subjects ranging from the International Monetary Fund to landmines. His internationalist bent is reflected in the many world music influences (reggae, Latin, etc.) found in his music. In 2002 Cockburn released his first official greatest hits collection, Anything Anytime Anywhere: Singles 1979-2002 (although his previously published material had been collected in several albums: Resume, Mummy Dust, and Waiting for a Miracle). In January 2003 Cockburn finished recording his 27th album, You've Never Seen Everything, which features contributions from Emmylou Harris, Jackson Browne, Sam Phillips, Sarah Harmer, Hugh Marsh, Jonell Mosser, Larry Taylor and Steven Hodges. (Taylor and Hodges are known for their work with Tom Waits). Cockburn performed a powerful set at the Live 8 concert in Barrie, Ontario, on July 2, 2005. An instrumental compilation of both new and previously released material, titled Speechless, was released on October 24, 2005. His 29th album, Life Short Call Now, was released on July 18, 2006. He has won many honorable musician's awards in Canada and around the world. Trivia Was married from 1969 to 1980 to Kitty Cockburn, and has a daughter Jenny (born in 1975) from that marriage. Wrote the song "Little Seahorse" in late 1975 about the time when his daughter was in utero. It appears on his album In the Falling Dark. The cover artwork for his 1999 album Breakfast in New Orleans, Dinner in Timbuktu, which is dominated by bold text in the Helvetica font, was included in the exhibition "50 Years of Helvetica" which ran from April 2007 to March 2008 at the Museum of Modern Art in New York City. Cockburn wrote and performed the theme song for the children's television series Franklin. He composed and performed, with Hugh Marsh, the music for the National Film Board of Canada documentary feature Waterwalker (1984), directed by Bill Mason. He also composed two songs for the classic English Canadian film Goin' Down the Road (1970), directed by Donald Shebib. In 2007, Cockburn's music will be featured in movie adaption of Irvine Welsh's best-selling novel Ecstasy: Three Tales of Chemical Romance. In May, 2007 he will receive two honorary doctorates, the fourth and fifth of his career. In early May he will receive an Honorary Doctorate of Divinity from Queens University in Kingston, Ontario[7], and later in the month he will receive an Honorary Doctor of Letters at the convocation of Memorial University of Newfoundland for his lifelong contributions to Canadian music, culture and social activism. Cockburn previously received honorary doctorates from York University in Toronto, Berklee College of Music, and St. Thomas University in New Brunswick[8]. The discussion group "Humans" is one of the oldest e-mail lists devoted to a specific artist.[9] The liner notes for Cockburn's album The Charity of Night mentions the group.[10] Discography quite a prolific composer/writer! Cockburn has released 35 albums since 1970! US Hit Singles: Wondering Where the Lions Are Dancing in the Dragon's Jaws 1984 If I Had a Rocket Launcher" #88 Stealing Fire 1989 "If a Tree Falls" Vel is coming with a.bananna, rue and em on Friday, so I'll have 3 days with them then on my way home, will stop and see Bruce. What a week.

In this morning's paper...

:o(

We are finally

finished unloading all our crap...all of it is here. I still need to unload my car at school tomorrow, after I get my fingerprints/background check and photo ID. Then I will drive to stay the night with mom, then attend her brother's funeral. My uncle Jerry passed away this morning. 5 Siblings are left out of 13. Here are some pictures of mom's family. Click to see bigger...

I loved my uncle Jer Bear. He was a goof, tall and skinny redhead with freckles and a big nose. He always made me laugh. Always.

The last time I saw him was at my brother in law's funeral. I sat at the piano in the church basement playing some old hymns. Soon I heard this bass voice and clomping feet come walking my way. I looked at the bent over old man with the cane and instantly smiled at my Uncle Jer Bear. He sat beside me and sang and sang and sang and it was so soothing to just see him again.

Rest in peace, Big Bird.

love,
Ellie, "that mean ornery one with that dang colored hair"